| Feb. 4th, 2010 @ 12:30 am The Unbearable Lightness of Being without stuff |
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Oh Livejournal, how long it seems since I have dished to you. I used to post all the time, multiple times a day even! I know, because I deleted about 90% of my entries. You know it too, old friend.
Well, I'm in the mood for you again, darling. I'm all strung out and emo and I need a place to spin my tails of woe upon the sands of time... or something like that. And what more appropriate place to spill my feelings of sadness and degradation but to a public journal anyone can read? But I digress.
Old Black Mac is dead, and perhaps I can revive her like she was a comic book-character, but she may be gone forever. All those files. All those memories. All the times you forgot she even existed as you opened the doors to perception. Sigh. Without her, you know you are just an empty sack with terrible personal memory.
I also forgot my deviantart password. Well, not so bad, I'll just forward the password to my email... only I forgot that password too. Well, just forward that to your other email........ alas that one is now defunct. I emailed deviantart but because my IP address has changed since I registered it, I'm sure they won't give me the pass. Well, if I never use deviantart again it'll be no great loss.
"Sam", my bike and only means of transportation was stolen today. I filed a police report, but I know I'll never see him again. He's probably sitting in some pawn shop right now, being leered at by hungry patrons.
And as for me? Well, you know the story. I feel depersonalized as ever. The only time I feel like I actually exist at all is when I'm with Lily. Lately though I've been feeling more when I'm alone---more pain. Not to be dramatic, I mean physical pain. I have this terrible burning sensation in my abdomen that lasts for hours or until I eat something, but I'm not hungry at all. Nothing sounds good to eat. My glands are swollen. I have zero energy. I just wish I could take a break for a little while. I wish nothing bad would happen for a little bit.
I have a new computer, actually. A little Acer. It's cute and it works well, but it's no Black Mac. See you later Livejournal. If my luck improves, I might even have a job by then. |
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